Travelled to Sligo in the West of Ireland today.

Climbed a hill overlooking the Atlantic Ocean - which has the 4500 year old tomb of Queen Meabh (an ancient Irish Queen) on it. AMAZING views - heavenly. The landscape hasn't changed (apart from buildings) since Meabh looked upon it.

Then gave 2 lovely American girls (one of them was cute as hell :-) ) a lift into town. Never got their names or where in America they were from - had a nice friendly conversation though - one of those sweet things that happen.

Then went for a Seaweed bath - my second one - a great experience - I went over the alloted 50 mins - but they didn't mind coz it wasn't busy at the time.

Cost - 25 euro.

Value = priceless as a life.

Whale

While in the Iron bath with my ears beneath the water, I could hear my pulse like a steam train turned down low -always there and strong. I thought of this as my personal timer - counting every second - as it always does - even when, most of the time, I can't hear it.
My tummy rumbled. Now I probably wouldn't have heard it if my ears weren't in the water - but they were and the sound it made underneath the water in the Iron tub sounded exactly like a Whale ! I did what whales do for a second.

Neutron

Then I thought about what I am basically. I am not this body - as is evident to anyone who has ever seen a corpse (e.g. at a funeral). Once death happens, the "spirit" leaves and all that is left is flesh and bones. This body will eventually return to the soil and enrich that soil as a source of nutrients. What this body is is a collection of atoms. Which will change over time from one compound to another. But even atoms are alive. Why ? Because they have Consciousness and Awareness. The Protons and Electrons in an atom are acutely aware of each other and thus acutely alive - responding to one another. What isn't responsive in an atom (at least to my limited knowledge) ? Neutrons - they are neutral. They just sit there observing so to speak what the Protons/Electrons are doing but not engaging in that dance.

So my Spirit is like a neutron - ever present, indestructible, eternal, not engaged in the dance of form yet at the same time always being right at the heart of form. There are neutrons in everything ! Yet I've never seen a neutron and will never probably.

At our level of Consciousness in the Animal Kingdom, my spirit is the indestructible awareness which leases me the space in which my mind exists - it observes my repetitive mental dialogue (the Voice in my head which I wrongly think is me) and my ego (my sense of self based on my past) without judgement and just accepts them as is. All power comes from that Spirit/Awareness. When I die, that Awareness will continue on into another form - whether that be soil, a worm, a rabbit or a cow.

What possibilities there are in this World for this bag of flesh and bones if I always acted from my background eternal Spirit and not from my Mental Dialogue or Ego ????? Endless I imagine.

Risen from the Dead.

Then I emptied the bath - with guilt for been in so long and with sadness at having to leave. And I was struck by the following:

I could stretch out fully in the bath with my feet resting on the vertical bit underneath the taps. My head and shoulders were slightly elevated on the opposite "slopey" side and I realised that at that moment, the empty bath was exactly like a coffin - sometime in the next 70 years (when the timer that is my heart stops ticking), there is no surer thing that I am going to be stretched out in this fashion - only then it will be in a coffin. So I crossed my hands, closed my eyes, quietened my mind, and just tried to be aware without thought or judging. This is the essence of me. Then I opened my eyes, turned my head and, in my mind, say "I love you" to all those who love me - and even those who don't love me - we are all part of the same universal Spirit.

Then I got out thoroughly relaxed and at peace and went to buy Mother's Day presents for probably the greatest love of my Egoic life at this point.

Just a special day.